Archive for December, 2007

The chair

December 17, 2007

I apologise in advance, I am going to share too much information now. I’m going to tell you how a smear test was done in England back in the medieval times, sorry I mean in the year of 2007.

3 years ago when I had my first smear done in this country I left the surgery in shock and tears. The lack of one very big piece of equipment: an exam chair, made the experience terrifying. It took place on a bunk in a mouldy room and with a table lamp between my thighs… not very nice and totally unacceptable. I’m still scared.

This time around I called NHS direct but they didn’t know what a gynaecology exam chair was so I started calling around private gynaecologists.

It was going to cost about £300. I can’t pay 300 pounds to flash! I should be paid!

For £300 I can by my own gynaecology exam chair, though it wouldn’t go with my sofa.

Dear Santa, I wish for a smear test done by a private gynaecologist.

London is closed

December 15, 2007

In Sweden it’s seen as a bit of a treat to Christmas shop in London so at the moment there are so many Swedish people here. Bless them all!

If you are Swedish and packing your bags, I’m going to give you my top tip on where to go:

Go home! Don’t bother coming here in December. Think of London as being closed! It will open again in spring. We are looking forward to seeing you then!

Me=Tourist

December 6, 2007

It’s the time of mouldy curtains again. I just put them in the washing machine on 90 for two hours. I know it won’t get rid of the mould, it didn’t the last time but maybe it will fade the mouldy patches a little bit. It would really make me happy if it did.

I’ve been to Sweden. On my first morning Marie woke me up with the words:
-Lisa it has snowed!

I flew out of bed. Its not like I never seen snow before but there I was dragging my friends out of bed and out to the patio, to pose and smile for the camera. Me: a daughter of a Laplander was taking photos of snow.

I can’t pretend anymore, I’m a tourist in my own country.

I’ve developed other tourist sides too: I now need a map so I know how to get from A to B on street I use to know so well. And in true tourist style I like to comment on how clean these streets are and how good looking the people are who are walking on them.

Now I’m back in my lovely freezing flat and having showers in warmish water that only cover one shoulder at the time. And to top it up: a friend showed me a photo of one of their house mice. No, it isn’t a pet mouse (in case you were wondering).

I sat next to a very nice Irish man on the plane back to London and he asked me what I liked the most about England and I told him:
-Oyster cards and the detergent from Sainsbury’s that smells of coconut.